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Transportation to Australia to Resume

Government to Deploy Convict Labour to Fight Wage Pressures
From our Canberra correspondent Robbie Evans

In a joint statement from Canberra this morning, UK Prime Minister David Cameron and his Australian counterpart Tony Abbott announced the resumption of transportation.

Penal Colony status restored. Image: Stock.xchng

“Britain has a burgeoning prison population and Australia has a wage inflation problem. This is a true win-win” Mr Cameron said.

The agreement is a coup for Mr Abbott, who has relentlessly pursued a low-cost source of labour since taking office last year. “For too long Australian workers have not only expected a job, but the worst of them, and by that I mean union members, have insisted on getting paid [for] it as well. This announcement today will go a way towards ending that little racket.”

The expected labour savings will provide a much needed cash injection to Mr Abbott’s mining and industrial overlords, soon to be burdened with significant expenses associated with maintenance of the knighthoods coming their way.

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