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Craig, we've stopped counting your votes. Desist.

Revealed: carbon tax will impact energy sector

Shockwaves rippled through the labor government this morning in the aftermath of The Australian’s front page revelation that the carbon tax will reduce the profitability of coal fired electricity. It has also been revealed that the entire energy sector faces restructure as coal comes under increased competition from alternative energy sources.

“We are shocked by this news ,” a government insider told Unaustralian. “Shocked not so much by the impacts of our policy, as by the revelation that it appears to be having precisely the effect we intended it to have. This is unchartered territory for us.” According to another source, the government is completely unprepared for the event of a policy actually succeeding in its objectives. “We have no back up or contingency plans … no plan B. This event is simply without precedent.”

In an exemplary piece of investigative journalism, The Australian’s Victorian Political Editor, John Ferguson, laid bare warnings issued by the Latrobe Valley Transition Committee that “The introduction of a carbon price is expected to affect coal-fired power generation profitability and cause a major transformation in the electricity as renewable generation and other transitional energy sources (such as gas) become more competitive with coal.”

No shit, John.

It is unknown how Mr Ferguson obtained the information to reach these conclusions. Some media analysts suggest Mr Ferguson must possess a profound grasp of political and microeconomic principles. However, others suggested the seasoned journalist simply typed ‘carbon tax’ into Wikipedia.

Mr Ferguson was unavailable for comment.

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